An Anonymous Letter

Chapter 1

Aryan was still on his seat, worried and lost in thoughts, when his secretary, Ms. Helen came in saying that there was a letter for him. That day was his last in the office, he was 55 years old, and has reached the age of retirement as per his firm. He hasn’t done anything outside his work life, all his thoughts were always about work and the firm. Hence he was not thrilled about anything resulting from his retirement.  He saw his secretary; she was an old friend, who worked with him since long ago. She looked upset too, may be because she cannot see her old friend again. Anyways she didn’t wait for her boss to say anything and make the situation more complicated, she directly started explaining the letter.

“Sir, There is a letter for you!”

“For me? This is my last day here….” He paused for a while looking at her “I guess you know that, so if its anything official, forward it to your new boss!”

“I know the procedure sir, But this is not an official letter, it looks like a personal one, as ‘To’ name is mentioned as Just Aryan, and no one in the industry refer you, without your surname.”

“You know it’s my last day and still insist to call me Sir? Ok, who is it from?”

“That’s the strange thing Sir, the sender is also ‘Aryan’!”

“Is it? I don’t remember anyone named Aryan other than me, who can send me a personal letter. Can you open it up and read it?”

“That’s what I am here for Sir!”

She inserted her finger through the front opening of the letter and slit it open by forcing her finger out against the front cover. The letter inside was a bond paper, and its color was creamy but it doesn’t look like its intended color, it looked like it became creamy due to aging. She read through the letter and was shocked at the very first line.

“Sir, this letter was sent by you    !”

“Pardon me! Did you just say, I sent the letter?”

“Yes sir! It appears that way!”

“But how? And why do you think like that?”

“The letter is dated 28/05/1984, 30 years before from now, and the sender is referring you as ‘Hi 55years old me’!”

Aryan was very much shocked “ I don’t remember writing such letter Helen, it could be a prank, don’t waste your time.”

“Are you busy now sir?”

“That doesn’t matter; you might have lots of work, so please leave this and go!”

“I don’t have any more work pending today, just tell me, Are you busy Arya?”

Aryan looked at her, It’s been many years since she had called him like that “No I am not!”

Helen smiled “Then lets read this letter, prank or not, I think its interesting! Let this be the last letter I read for you, as your secretary”

Aryan just nodded

Helen continued reading the letter, out loud

 “Hi, 55 years old me, belated happy birthday

               How are you doing? Have you achieved whatever we have dreamt for so long? So what are you now? I believe you will be in the same company, because I know me! I will never leave my company and as of I know, there is no way the organization will throw us either, we are too good aren’t we?”

Helen looked up and saw Aryan, He just shook his head to show that he doesn’t remember anything.

“I am sure you remember how we got this job? In order to remember that you need to remember a thing which happened long back in our school days, when we were just 8 years old, the time of our first love, when we met Shalini for the first time! ”

Helen was shocked; she looked at Aryan with curiosity “Is this true?”

Aryan was feeling very shy to look at her; He just nodded, thinking how this letter guy knew about this? He thought it could be an old school friend.

Helen couldn’t stop laughing “Seriously? At the age of 8?”

Aryan tried his best to not to look at her, he thought of asking her not read the letter anymore, and just leave. But he saw her, she was very happy reading it, He didn’t want to offend, she really was a very old friend, he knows her since 30 long years.

Helen continued “We actually don’t remember the first day we saw her, or when we fell in love with her, but she was our best friend till 3^rd grade ended. One day when we entered the class, after recess, few girls asked us where was our girlfriend, referring to Shalini, and that’s when we realized, she was our girlfriend. Can you remember her face? I myself can’t picture her easily; I guess you might not remember this girl at all!”

“You remember this girl?”

“Yes! and her face too! She was cute, like a baby” Aryan said.

“Looks like a very serious kind of love, so what happened?”

“You want me to say or you want to read yourself it from the letter?”

“The letter would be fine, the Aryan in this letter is more active and lively than you are” Helen smiled and continued reading

“That day, when our last exam (Crafting) got over, We got a small flower which we made out of color paper during the exam, and we called her to come to the backyard of the school, we saw her going there, and we followed, our plan was to kiss her all of a sudden, when no one was looking, give her the paper flower and run as fast as we could, and not to wait for her reply, till the school reopens. But everything changed when we saw dad standing near the gate waiting for us.

We knew it’s impossible to implement our plan that day, We couldn’t even inform her that we are leaving.  We were angry on dad, for coming early to pick us, and became angrier when he informed that we are shifting to a nearby city as he was transferred. Do you remember how much we cried thinking that we would never see her again? Not knowing how she felt about us? Not getting a chance to say our final good bye to her!”

Helen was just smiling reading the end of the young love “Very tragic, isn’t it? Is that what happened?”

“Yeah but this guy’s writing makes it look bad, he referring ‘us’ and ‘we’ everywhere, as if two people are loving the same girl, yuck!”

Helen understood what he was saying, she just laughed and Aryan was wondering, who the hell was this guy!

Chapter 2

Helen continued,  "Anyways that was not as tragic as we thought it to be,  dad got a better job,  like a promotion or something,  he got us into one of the best school in the city,  and we were really happy that we joined that school,  in the place where the total strength of the class was just 12, here it was 50 plus,  and lots of girls,  even prettier than Shalini,  and we quickly forgot about her,  we made so many friends remember?  And it was going all fine, until we saw her, our first real love, after understanding the real meaning of love.

It was our first day in 6th grade.  We had to choose between Hindi or Tamil as our first language, as we after 5^th grade, we were allowed to learn only any one of those.  We were already getting a lots of spelling mistakes in Tamil, hence we decided to take Hindi.  But many of our friends decided to stick to Tamil. And hence we were really upset when they took us to the newly formed Hindi class, section D.  And that's when I saw her, (seriously this ‘we’ ‘we’ stuff is feeling weird, like 2 people are loving the same girl, I guess, by now you would have felt it too)”

Helen just looked at Aryan, with amazement, the guy in the letter just quoted the exact sentence which Aryan said few minutes before.  And Aryan didn't know what to say.

"She was wearing a yellow frock, like a sunflower has just bloomed right in the middle of the class room.  I didn't know her name, right by that time.  But I decided that she is my girl.  All the films I have watched in those days, made me feel like, that was love at first sight.  I was eagerly waiting for the class teacher to come and to take attendance, so that I could know her name.  And finally when he came,  i shouted 'Sir! Attendance ‘but he said since it’s our first day, no attendance.  The whole day went and I didn't know her name. The next day the teacher didn't wait for me, I was late and the attendance was already over.

I was very angry on my dad.  It was because of him, I got late. It's not like that the teacher was angry on me or something,  he just teased me for coming late,  and he marked my name present in the attendance.  But I missed the chance to hear her name again,  I thought it's now or never,  I just asked my classmate sitting next to me,  what's her name?  He was like he has no idea, he said he didn't listen.  But strangely I was happy that he didn't listen, because it means people are not noticing her much,  which means less competition.  And anyways I didn't have to wait much longer that day to know her name.  When the class teacher asked whether anyone is interested in becoming the class representative,  she stood up,  and the teacher asked her name again.  And she said Divya,  i was sure that moment,  that this would be a name,  that i would never forget in my whole life. "

Helen asked Aryan "I have never seen you speak to even one women in our office other than me.  I can't believe you were so romantic in those days."

Aryan said "Just read"

"The funniest thing I remember during our class 6 romance was how we tried to save her dignity in front of other boys, do you remember? The first time when the teacher gave us class test, only 2 were allowed to sit on the desk and write, remaining were asked to sit on the floor, I was sitting down and Divya came and sat opposite to us.  She usually wears shorter skirts which covers only up to her knees, and when she sat down, I saw her blue panty.  I was shocked, I reacted like as if I saw her naked all of a sudden.  I don't know how to tell her that either.  I couldn't actually.  But I decided one thing,  from next time,  I am not going to let anyone sit opposite to her other than me,  I thought,  I am the only one allowed to see that.  I finally stopped protecting her opposite to her when apparently a girl sat opposite to her and told her the thing which I couldn't tell her."

When she finished reading this, Helen couldn't stop laughing, she couldn't even look at Aryan's face, he just bowed his face is shame, and cursed the guy who wrote the letter

"Then started the bad Time of our life started.  One day when we came home from school, Mom was not there.  Some of our neighbors were at home, they told us Mom left to our home town,  as she had some urgent work and come back soon.  I thought I slept that night, but suddenly I woke up by hearing some noise in the dining table, dad had just arrived, and he was drinking alcohol, it felt weird because I have never seen dad drink in our house. Anyways I went back and slept"

By this time Helen noticed Aryan's face becoming gloomy, she asked him whether she should stop reading.  But Aryan just waved his hands. 

Helen continued “Few days passed, one day, in school, I decided to find the location of Divya's house by following her in the evening when she goes home.  In those days I had friend name Venkat,  he was the one who used to accompany me daily morning and evening,  to and from school in cycle. We slowly started following her, but we maintained a safe distance so that she won't see us.  She used to go home with her dad, in his cycle and we were afraid if she sees us, she might tell it to her father there itself and we could be punished then and there.  But unfortunately after a turning, her dad stopped the cycle in front of a shop, and we rushed behind the cycle, without knowing it had stopped, she saw us, she just acknowledged us with a smile.  We went ahead a bit and waited for her dad to get ahead of us, and then we followed again. But again her dad slowed down the cycle and we again came close to her, she saw us again, but no smile this time, she was looking towards us with disgust, but she wasn't looking at me, she was looking at Venkat.  We decided to call it for that day and stop there itself. After she left Venkat was so humiliated,  he asked me 'You love her,  you wanted to know her house,  and you followed her,  but why the hell is she looking at me like that,  as if I was trying to steal her chain or something?'  I just told him 'leave it buddy, everything is fair in love and war'

I reached home, Mom has not reached yet, and dad had left the key in the neighbors place. I got the key entered home, and just lied down.  Again in the night, I found dad drinking Alcohol again.  I felt that dad is really taking advantage of mom's absence.  I went near him, his eyes were red.  I asked him something about mom and told him that I missed her, he just shouted at me and asked me to go to my room and sleep. I was really scared, I thought dad didn’t want mom to come home, I thought he fought with her and sent her to native.  I cried that night, thinking about mom and finally slept”

Helen paused for a while, and then continued “Anyways by the time, I got up in the morning,  dad was long gone,  he had my lunch box packed and left breakfast for me on the table, I was till upset with dad's behavior.  I reached school, and I don't know why as soon as I saw Divya,  I forgot all my problems.  I decided that i should find her house that day itself.  In the evening me and Venkat directly went to the spot where we stopped the previously, Venkat asked me, whether he was really required?  I told please macha (kind of like bro in Tamil), then he just kept quiet.  Divya's dad passed us and went ahead, and she didn't notice us either.  We slowly pursued her and again after a few turns the cycle stopped,  but this time because they reached their destination,  it was her home,  not so big,  but who cares,  I found her home,  I literally felt like jumping there,  but I know it would be too filmy and definitely,  the people on the road will never see me jumping in slow motion,  I controlled myself,  I was looking at the house,  and suddenly Divya came out,  we both were shocked and that time Venkat didn't wait for her to look at him,  he just pointed at me and turned his back. I was scared and didn't know what to do, but something amazing happened, she just smiled and went inside. When Venkat heard that, he was pissed off.  He asked me 'How come macha?  If it was me, she looked with disgust, and when it came to be you, she smiled?' I just replied him 'its love macha'.  I thought that would be the happiest day in my life"

Helen just had a great smile on her face.  She couldn't believe that her all time silent boss used to be so much fun and crazy when he was young. But the next line changed her mood all of a sudden.

"But it turned out to be the worst day of our life. That day, I found dad at home, I guess he has not gone to office or maybe he returned home early, anyways he was drinking again. I thought that he had lost control of his habit. I went to my room and changed, by then dad came to my room. He gave me a letter, with the text ‘From Mom, to My Dear Son’ written on it. I was happy, I thought finally mom decided to send me a letter from her home town, maybe I should also leave dad, to go and stay with her in that place. But I was worried that I would miss Divya. Anyways I opened the letter immediately and started reading.”

‘My dear Aaru (Mom calls me like that)

               If you are reading this letter, it means Amma has left you and gone to some distant place, and I don’t think I can come back to you. I would have definitely come if I could, but it not in my hand now. I am with god now. He liked me a lot I guess. I know you are not a small kid to be fooled by these words, and so I will be frank to you. Few months before they found out that I had a strange disease, a small bubble inside amma’s brain, The doctors says it’s called brain tumor, Don’t worry even I didn’t understand it, they said it’s a very serious disease and that’s the reason Amma was getting all those headaches. In order to cure it, a very risky operation has to be performed, and the chances of amma living after that also is very less. I said ‘its ok’ and to leave it, I wanted to spend my last moments with you happily, but your dad was very adamant, he didn’t wanna give up on me so easily, he started selling properties and getting loans from friends and strangers. And he took leave from his office too, to stay with me in the hospital, you know na? Me and dad ran away and got married, so none of our relatives would speak to us, they don’t like us anymore, and hence he couldn’t leave me alone in the hospital I guess.

               But I was afraid that, what if I didn’t make it? I need to say so many things to you, if I am going to leave you and go forever. I told dad about this, and asked him to say a few things to you on my behalf, but he just shook his head and said that he cannot replace a mother, and it was he who came up with an idea of writing a letter. I told him to give it to you only if I didn’t make it alive out of the operation. I know you are young Aaru, I could have lied to you, said some stupid lie and dad would have made you believe that, but I didn’t want your world to be built around a lie and more over it would be another big burden on your dad’s shoulder.

               So these are my last words to you Aaru, no more shouting at you when you come home with dirty clothes, no more calling out your names on and on, asking you to come for dinner, after keeping the food, ready on the table. No more asking you to go to shops for getting small items while cooking, no more helps needed from you in cleaning the house on Sunday. I am really sorry Aaru, please don’t think amma is leaving you and going, I would always hug you before going to sleep, would kiss on your fore head after you fall asleep, would stay right beside you when you fall sick, help you doing your math homework, and so much more things I want to do. You might not be able to see me doing these, But no matter where I go, I will always be around you. I love you so much son, more than myself, and that’s why I hate myself now, for leaving you and going. Aaru I have so many more things to say, so many advices,

               Please don’t play in the rain, Please take care of the house, your cycle, Please concentrate on your studies, Please don’t hurt yourself while playing sports, eat food at the right time, learn cooking so you can help dad, keep the house clean, respect all your elders, don’t ill-treat anyone, fall in love and marry a beautiful girl, Work hard, reach high position in your career, become a father, become a grandfather, please have lots of people, friends and relative around, don’t be lonely, help everyone, Don’t be rude while speaking to others, be kind to the needy, remember to pray daily, and so much more Aaru, I can’t believe I have to tell you all these through just one letter, I would have given up anything to see you in person and live one day extra with you, I love you so much Aaru, and I don’t want to leave you Aaru, I want to stay right beside you and see you performing all these things, but things cannot be always the way we want it to be.

               Finally I would like to thank you my dear son, Thank you for letting me become your mother, you came into my life, when I was really alone, you became a part of my life, a part of my body, you are my only best friend Aaru. I am sorry again, for leaving you when you need me. I gave you this letter so that a part of me will be always with you, and I thought I didn’t give anything to dad, but I am wrong, I am leaving you for him, a big part of me. This is my last and most important advice Aaru, Take care of your dad

               With lots and lots of love, hugs and kisses

               Your Best Friend (Amma) ‘”

Both Aryan and Helen had tears in their Eyes. Helen paused a bit, she had to take a break, and then she continued again after getting permission from her boss.

“  When I finished the letter, I cried, I cried a lot, but I started thinking too, I understood why dad was drinking so much, because he was scared too, that day when he shouted at me, I asked him about mom, why was she bleeding on her nose before she left to home town, maybe that would have reminded him of mom again, so he asked me to leave, but now I know why, because he wanted to cry after I left, and now my amma has ordered me to take care of him, I went and slept near him that night, and he hugged me tight.

After that our life changed drastically, dad lost his job, for taking too much leaves, he got into a small company for daily wages, but he wasn’t consistent there either, he got addicted to Alcohol, and the loans were piling up, I tried to control his drinking but, I felt that he needed it, else he might not be able to sleep at night, I was not the only one who lost a mother, he had his loss too, in fact his loss were more than mine. I learnt cooking and started taking care of the house too. After 6^th grade I left my current school and joined a government school, and I had completely forgotten about Divya. I felt that my fun life ended there, or that’s how I felt until I met her. ”

Aryan just raised his eyebrow, and he said to himself “Could this be that letter?”

Chapter 3

“By the time I finished 10^th grade, I flunked twice, and dad didn’t even scold me, he just told me that one day I will be alone in this world and I have to take care of myself, hence it’s important for me to be ready for that, I didn’t know why he said that, until the day my dad passed away. He had liver problems, but he didn’t take any treatments, because he didn’t want to put anymore burden of loan on my head. The insurance amount I got after dad’s death was roughly enough to pay all the loans which we got for mom’s treatment. And so at the age of 17, I became a loan free orphan, with no place to go. But I was not alone, I always felt my mom’s presence around me. Whenever I am sad or happy I would speak to her, out loud! I didn’t care where I am and what others thought about me. I started my job hunt, I tried many places, but got rejected for my low qualification and my inability to show some person as reference. What to do? I didn’t know anyone, all of dad’s friends were afraid to see me, fearing that I would ask for help. Getting food to eat was not that easy as it used to be when dad got it for me. But mom was with me, I don’t know how but whenever I close my eyes and speak to mom, I used to feel the chillness of the wind around me, and I would get goose bumps! that feeling was like mom was wrapping herself around me, it felt good.”

“I had almost given up my life, I thought its not going anywhere, but one night I had a dream. It was my amma, ‘Aaru! What’s wrong son?’ she was speaking to a small baby, calling him Aaru! Is that me? I asked myself, anyways amma continued talking, and she spoke as if that baby was some real person, listening to her joys and sorrows. ‘You see Aaru, Daddy always comes late, that’s why I argued with him last night, I know you would have heard me shouting, but later I myself realized I was wrong, daddy is working hard for our sake only na? so I asked sorry to daddy, and gave him a hug, just like this’ saying which she hugged the baby. The baby – ‘me’ laughed as soon as she hugged me. She was actually sitting in the waiting room of some hospital, it was a crowded place, and people were looking at her strangely as she was talking such serious stuff to a baby, suddenly dad came near amma, and asked ‘Shall we go?’ and added ‘I see people are looking at you again, I think you started speaking to Aryan again. How many times should I say don’t embarrass yourself like this, he is just a baby he won’t understand anything, people would think that you are crazy’ For that my amma, coolly replied, let them think whatever they want, but according to me, I will speak to him at any circumstances, and My Aaru will always understand what I am saying’ and then suddenly I saw amma’s voice, ‘Aaru! When everyone around me felt what I am doing as weird, I just believed in you, and the result was that you started speaking at the age of 1 itself and proved me and yourself right. Even now I believe in you! You are a special child, and from your birth you have shown signs of that, please don’t lose hope, everything will be alright! Amma is always with you’ and then I woke up. I literally felt amma was around me, and I decided not to lose hope. I decided to try a bit harder”

“After some days, I was in front of a Transport company hoping to get a job there, but there was no job vacancy sign there, So far where ever I have gone in search of job, they all had a ‘Job Vacant’ sign. I was hesitant to approach the office after that. I saw a guy in there, whom I have seen before at my home, with dad when I was young. He might have been dad’s friend, I thought if I approach him, he might help me. But later I realized that almost all of dad’s friends neglected to help me, fearing that I would also borrow money from them, just like dad. Anyways I decided that, I am not using dad’s name. I was just standing there completely blank about what to do next. That very moment dad’s friend came outside, carrying bundle of papers. He seemed to be in a rush, but suddenly a strong wind blew away the papers in his hand. He started collecting all of them and once he was sure that he got all of them, he started heading somewhere. I noticed a piece of paper, which was far away from where the other papers fell. I picked it up and found that it was a signed check leaf, with no amount or receiver name filled in it. I immediately rushed towards dad’s friend called out for him ‘Sir!’ He turned back and saw me. I waved the check leaf towards him, and he was shocked to see that he had missed it. He got the check leaf and verified it was his own and then he thanked me. I thought of making use of the opportunity I got, and ask him about the job, but the guy was in such a hurry, that he didn’t even wait for my reply, he started walking again, away from me. I thought the bad luck was still following me, by then my stomach started making noises, it was almost 1pm in the afternoon, and I have not eaten anything since previous night, but I was in a cost cutting phase, I can’t afford to spend much, I found a tea stall on the other side of the road and decided to have a tea for lunch”

“Sometimes later I heard someone shouting ‘Thief!’ I looked around and found that it was my dad’s friend, and he was running after a guy who was carrying a bag with him. I assumed he might have snatched the bag from dad’s friend. The thief was running towards my direction, just that I was on the other side of the road. I immediately crossed the road, and started running towards the guy, he saw me and stopped for a second, and later I guess he would assessed me as weak fellow (can’t blame him, I was really skinny that time)and continued running towards me. As soon as I came near him, I stopped and though what to do, luckily the thief was running opposite to the wind, and the sudden stop in commotion, made sand entered his eyes. He closed his eyes and ran towards me, I simply dodged him and grabbed the bag from him. The other employees of the transport office where behind me, they caught the thief and I directly went to dad’s friend and gave him the bag. He recognized me from the morning incident and smiled at me. Both of us were gasping heavily. Finally he broke the silence and told ‘You saved my ass twice today! Thank you so much boy! What your name?’ ‘Aryan Sir!’ ‘I am Sumesh, Have I seen you before, I feel I have met you somewhere, before today!’ I was in a confused state whether to tell about dad or not, by that time my stomach made a loud noise and I was sure he would have heard it too. He simply asked me ‘Would you like to eat something?’ I was thinking hard whether to show decency and say no to him, but I was really hungry and I didn’t care about decency, I said ‘Sure sir!’ and before he could as what I want, I added  ‘Anything will do!’. We went to a nearby hotel and had full veg meals. During our lunch time, he asked what I was doing, and how I ended up there, I told him that I was searching for a job, but was hesitant to enter the place as there was no signs of job opening. Sumesh told me that there was no job opening as of now, but since I saved him twice from a critical situation, he felt that I am his lucky charm, and hence he would offer me a job of office assistant. He also told me that he knows I have a reasonable education and I could get a better job. But I interrupted and said any job is fine for me. He told I would be given food and accommodation inside the office itself, plus a monthly salary of RS 2000, it wasn’t the best deal I could get, but I felt it was not the worst deal either. I accepted the offer happily”

“Years passed, I started as an office assistant but I never left a chance to learn any other work, I volunteered every time whenever there was a need to accompany the drivers for delivery. I went to different cities, different states, learnt new few languages as well. At the age of 24 I was made Supervisor by Sumesh sir, by then I knew Tamil, Malayalam, Kannada, Telugu, Hindi and a bit of English as well. I had a salary of RS 7000, but still I stayed in the office itself along with the other office assistants. Life was good I thought if not better I thought, I was not sleeping hungry anymore, no one was looking at me with sympathy or contempt, or the fear that I would ask for loan. No one is at sick at home, no one is addicted to alcohol at home, but then I thought I had no one at home, or a place to call a home. Maybe life is not normal anymore, but anyways I thought I could have been in worst state, so I should be happy about that and besides I always had Mom with me, I had her letter with me, I used to read it whenever I felt alone or misplaced.”

Aryan interrupted Helen, and told her “You have been reading the letter for quite a long time now, you would be tired, you can give it to me now, I shall read it once I get home”

Helen replied “I have no problem sir, Just 4 or 5 pages left, I can wrap this up by 30 minutes and then we both can head home after that”

Aryan didn’t know what to do, he was trying to stop her from reading the letter further but it’s in vain.

So once again Helen continued “Then came the day, when we first saw her. Our office was in a building where many other transport offices were also located, all of those belonged to a single owner, who sub leased them under different names to different people and my boss Sumesh was one among them. So occasionally we have to deliver goods which were booked in those other offices as well. One day our trucks had free space and we were asked to deliver the package booked in an office present in the 2^nd floor, I don’t remember its name exactly, anyways I had to meet their supervisor to get the delivery details, when I entered the office, I was surprised to see a girl in the reception, wearing a white and red salwar. After my mom’s death, my dad donated most of her new cloths to an orphanage agent, He even donated the white and red salwar, which was mom’s favorite suit, I argued with dad that day, telling not to give atleast that suit, but my dad said ‘One person’s un used treasure can be another person’s daily necessity, so don’t have such sentiments and waste the dress, it could be useful for someone’. He might have had a point, but I also knew the real reason why he was donating all mom’s clothes, seeing those cloths daily might be reminding him of mom. Anyways coming back to the point, I found the girl wearing a similar dress, if not the very same dress and then I realized something, I don’t know how many girls I fell in love with before, but she would be the last in the list, my last love”

“After that I used to visit their office often, but never got any chance to speak to her, or to be frank I didn’t have the guts to speak to her. I was always like that, I don’t even remember how many days it took for me to speak to Divya. Those days I used to share all my stuffs with only one of my friend - Thanveer, he was another Supervisor from the office next to mine. When I told him about this, he asked me her name, and I told him I didn’t know. He advised me that it’s ok that I have not spoken to my love yet, but I should at least know her name. So we both devised a plan to speak to her and ask her name.”

“Thanveer asked me ‘Do you know any friend in that company, to whom we can ask her name?’”

“I told him ‘No, but I know one driver there, we went to Pune together last year for a delivery, I guess his name is Ramesh, but I don’t even know whether he works there still’

Thanveer got an Idea, ‘That’s alright, you just goto her and ask whether Driver Ramesh still works there, if she yes or no doesn’t matter, it’s a start and you can figure out some way to get her name’

I too liked the Idea, I immediately went to her and I was about to ask her ‘Where is Ramm….” By then that very same guy ‘Ramesh, the driver’ came out of the office and saw me, he called out to me and said ‘Hi sir’ I didn’t know what else to do, I just figured something and asked him doubt about some route and how to go to some place, and while we were talking, he started walking towards the exit, and I had to walk along with him. Thanveer was waiting for me outside, he showed me a thumbs up, asking me whether the plan succeed, I whispered to him what happened, he hit his head out of bad luck and told me to ask this guy her name. I did the same, but Ramesh had resigned from the office 2 months before and he came there just to collect his PF amount, hence he didn’t know her name.”

“That attempt was a complete failure, along with many similar attempts, once I even followed her to a medical shop, she bought some medicines and left, I immediately went to the shop keeper and asked her what was the name on the prescription, the shopkeeper saw me up and down, even Thanveer was surprised by boldness, he asked me why couldn’t I do the same thing with one of her office mates, I told him, in business, name if everything, If I asked them about her name, they might start a rumor which could spoil my name as well as her name. But the shopkeeper is just a stranger, so it is fine to ask him. Thanveer understood what I was saying, but the shopkeeper was still seeing me up and down. I gave him 50Rs, he smiled and said he didn’t see the name, but the medicine she got was for diabetics, Thanveer turned red, he shouted at the shopkeeper saying what will we do knowing her disease, If you didn’t know that name, you should have told that before getting money. But I was smiling, Thanveer asked me the reason, for which I replied ‘She is so like my mom! Even she had diabetics’ Thanveer just rolled his eyes and called me an Idiot. “

Helen paused and smiled at Aryan, she knew her boss very well, he was always serious and busy these days, so when she read that her boss was so lively in the past, it made her happy. She just laughed and said “This is the 3^rd girl you are falling in love with in this letter, I don’t know how much more to come, no wonder, you stayed un married till now, I guess you got so many love failures”

Aryan was silent for a while, he didn’t know what to say, he can order her not to read anymore, But that day was his last day in the office, so he thought it’s alright and  replied “No, just one love failure and that was my last love failure”

Helen saw her boss’s face changed when he said that, there some kind of mixed pain and emotions shown in his face, she wonder who that girl was and how they got the letter after so many years that even her boss didn’t remember it, but when she read the next line she got the answer for her first question, she realized, she was the girl 30 years before.

Chapter 4

“After constant messed up ideas and failed efforts, the lady luck finally smiled at me. It will be a dream if your love meets you for the first time, especially when she needs a help and you get there on the right time. In a strange coincidence, the same happened for me too. One night, around 10pm I was heading outside the office, just to get some fresh air, but it was a busy day and I was completely stressed and tired, so I had my dinner outside. The hotel guy didn’t have the change for the remaining amount, so he said he will give tomorrow; but I was not sure whether I would go back there, so I asked him to give me chocolates for the amount pending with him. So when I entered the office, I saw her sitting alone in the stairs, it was totally dark and hardly anyone was there in the building except the security guards. I wondered what she was doing there that late, so I thought if I don’t speak to her then, I would never speak at all, besides what if she needed help. No one sits alone in the staircase at night 10pm, unless there is some problem. I approached her, but I didn’t want to startle by going too close, so I decided to call out for her, but then I thought what should I call her? I didn’t know her name, but that would be my first word to her, I should make it special, but I myself scolded me saying ‘for that sake you cannot start with the word Darling and you cannot start with an “I love you” either, she would forget her worries and run away if you did that’ and I was right. So I decided to start with a simple hi”

“I cleared my throat loudly to let her know my presence and then I told ‘Hi’, she didn’t respond. Then I said ‘Hello’, no response, finally I went a bit closer and realized that she was unconscious. I didn’t know what to do, ‘should I call the guards? Or should I sprinkle some water on her face?’ I thought, after too much thinking I just went near her and shook her shoulders, and she slowly opened her eyes, I guess she wasn’t unconscious, she was just asleep due to tiredness. At that moment I remembered what the medical shop keeper told me a few days ago, that she was diabetic, I also remembered that I have bunch of chocolates in my pocket which I got as a change for the remaining amount from the hotel. As soon as she saw me, and was wondering who I was, I just handed her some chocolates. I guess she was wondering how I knew that she needed sugar, but she didn’t ask me anything, she got the chocolates and quietly ate it, I was just watching her eat, It was dark but not completely dark, the lights from the street lamp helped reducing the darkness and I would have been very much disappointed if It hadn’t. That was the first time I am seeing her so upfront. I was telling myself that even if she didn’t wear mother’s dress, I would have still fallen for her, she was really beautiful. I had the same kind of rhythmic heart beat which I had when I first met Divya. She almost finished eating the chocolates while still sitting on the stairs, and she slowly looked up towards me and said ‘Thanks’. ‘Great’ I thought, her first word to me was ‘Thanks’ and on the other hand, my first sentence to her, which she heard was ‘Hey get up, what happened to you?’ I couldn’t help myself but smile, and it took me some time to realize that she was looking at me. I immediately asked her how is she, just to stop her from thinking anything worse. She said she was feeling much better after eating the chocolates."

"I was sure,  she must have started from office itself very late,  else at least someone from her office would have noticed her sitting there,  hence I asked her,  what happened, why was she in the office so late. She told me that she lost one of her weekly office ledger book, and she has to submit her weekly report the next day, but without that she can't. I always thought she was a receptionist, but it turned out, that she was someone like a clerk. Anyways I asked her, how did she loose it?  She told her house is far from office, so based on the availability whichever truck comes in that route, her manager would ask her to board on that truck to get to office, but usually she doesn't speak to any of the drivers, she just waits for the truck, confirms the company logo, and get on it, and once it reaches office, she gets down.  So she was not sure on which truck she came to office that day.  She looked pretty upset and tensed about the situation, as if her whole job depended on that ledger book. I really felt sorry for her, but then I thought to myself that God has given me this wonderful opportunity to give her the best first impression, and by all means I have to use everything I have to make that count."

"But in order to do anything first and foremost, I need to find which was the truck she boarded that day morning, and that's first chance to show her I am smart, she would be like a helpless client and I would be like a super smart detective and this was my home domain,  I know most of the delivery routes and have met almost all the truck drivers of our building in one way or another.  So I asked her,  what color was the truck? I know it was very basic question,  but in our building we have 3 colors of truck,  most of them in yellow,  few in Orange and very few in red. So obviously if it's red,  I can trace it down very soon.  But she said it's yellow,  and also added 'I guess',  so that means I still have to look at all the trucks. So then I asked

'What about the driver? You have his name name?'

She replied 'No'

'Have you seen before anywhere,  with your other drivers?'

She replied 'No'

'What about his age?  Can you say something in approx? '

She replied 'No'

I thought 'That's three no's in a row,  she is out,  you know? Like Baseball! Anyways am I getting wild on my Sugar? Yeah I am calling her Sugar from now,  you know,  because she is diabetic. I should keep my cool, she shouldn't think I am hot headed, Moreover I still have to get some information from her,  so that I can narrow down the search of finding that truck'

'After dropping you,  did the guy stop the truck and came inside the office or he took off?'

'He took off' she said,  and I smiled as I finally got a way to get that truck and the driver.

'If I show you a list of photos,  can you identify this guy? '

' I can try,  but not sure,  I didn't see his face properly '

'Well it would be a small list,  so we can go with your guess' I smiled

The list of drivers who were out for delivery that day were very few,  due to some local state wide festival.  All the local drivers were on leave the following day,  visiting their family or celebrating the festival.  Only the outside state drivers were available that,  so I thought it could be a small list and once I explained it to Sugar, she understood it too. We went to the main gate security and got the list of buses which got 'OUT PASS',  just that morning. We got around 10 trucks,  and later we went inside her office,  to get the profile of every corresponding drivers of the truck. She looked through the photos of all the 10 drivers,  but she got her doubts only on one driver,  Ramesh. She was very happy that we finally got to know which truck has her ledger book. But I knew that we got bigger problems.

'So you sure,  you don't have any other way to handle this ledger situation? I mean if in case we didn't get the ledger book? '

' What are saying? Now that we know the trucks number, I have to go to this guy tomorrow morning and get the ledger,  that's it right?'

'Not that simple,  that truck has a long distance trip,  it's reaching North India by 2 to 3 days.  So by the time he gets back,  your deadline would have crossed'

She got upset and worried again,  I won't blame her,  even I would be too, but then she asked me 'You were confirming if I got any other way,  meaning you have some idea to get the book,  but it's difficult,  am I right?'

I was completely shocked,  she saw right through me,  and guess what I am gonna say. I was like Wow,  my Sugar is smart and most importantly that was our first meeting but still she developed some confidence on me that I would get a solution. Anyways I told her,  that I have traveled in that route,  few months before for some delivery, So I was sure that there would be a over night halt in Bangalore, a city which was 200kms away from our place. So if I could start now,  I would be able to reach Bangalore by morning,  get her ledger book and get back before end of the day tomorrow. But she surprised me yet again.

She said 'I will also come with you then'

'No ways,  it's almost midnight,  and you are a woman,  it's not safe,  see you don't have take so much trouble,  I will handle this don't worry '

'See,  it was my mistake that got us into this situation,  I cannot let you alone to handle all the issues, I know I won't be of much help but at least I can give you company'

'What about your parents,  won't they be worried? If you didn't get home tonight?'

'My parents are out of town,  so don't bother about it,  they won't even know I got home or not'

My inner mind was jumping from Earth to sky,  I was so thrilled to travel with her on our first meeting,  but I also knew that Sugar or no Sugar,  a female companion at that time would be a risk,  and she would just be a burden that would slow me down... "

Helen stopped reading and looked at Aryan,  she didn't like the idea that her boss thought her as a burden.  She said 'You know,  calling someone Sugar,  because they have Sugar in their blood is considered more as a teasing then as being romantic'.

Aryan just smiled,  but he was equally relieved  as it was the first time Helen spoke after she got the hint that she was girl, he thought she was handling it pretty well. Anyways he knew that the next line in the letter would cool her,  and it did cool her.

"But that was one burden I was ready to carry,  even if it's through out my life. "Helen smiled

" I just had to ask her one question,

'how come you are OK in coming with  me? You hardly know for an hour,  yet you are not afraid to travel with a complete stranger in the night? '

' It's not the first time I am hearing about you,  one of our office cleaner lady has spoken so good about you,  her husband is a driver in your office'

'Oh...  I didn't know that ' and I really didn't know that,  else during all those failed attempt I would have definitely tried to get her name through that driver. Speaking of which I still have to ask her name. ' Hey by the way,  what's your name? '

' On the way (to Bangalore), my name is Helen '

' Helen' I thought, it's sounds so closer to heaven, which could be where an angel like her would have come from.

'Hi Helen,  I am Aryan,  nice to meet you ' I could have said the truth that I have been dying to meet her for the past few months,  but that would be inappropriate right?

' I know your name Aryan,  as I said before you are famous among the people in the whole building, the dedicated prodigy who joined as kid and spent his whole life for the company,  and talented too'

I felt happy that Sugar is praising me so much,  but I felt she might be overdoing it,  anyways I didn't want to say that,  not because I don't like people praising me,  but somehow I felt all this talk made her forgot her current situation and some time at least she was being herself.

Helen asked 'Hey by the way,  how come you knew,  I needed sugar,  I mean chocolate when I was sitting on the staircase?'

Now I cannot tell her that I stalked her and got to know about the diabetes from the shopkeeper from whom she got the medicine? That would be a bad first impression right? So I said 'My mom also had low sugar,  so I could recognize the symptoms when I see it'

'That's sweet, so you are a caring son, see that's one more reason for me not to worry in traveling alone with you, so don't you have to inform your mom that you are going to Bangalore? '

‘No, actually I don't have to inform anyone wherever I go', that's both good and bad thing of being an orphan. I don't know whether she understood what I meant, I felt she did, as she never asked anything related to that again. “

“We immediately started towards the nearest bus stop and got the bus to Bangalore, almost most of the seats were empty, it’s almost midnight and most people would he be coming to their hometown rather leaving it on the             time of the local festival. Anyways I didn't have to sit right next to her, I sat on the one behind her seat, she did ask me once to sit with her, but she too never insisted again. Once we reached half the way, I had this urging feel to empty my tank (you know what I meant), I guess I should have had a leak before starting on the trip. But I was hesitant to ask the conductor to stop the bus, besides Sugar might notice me, so I controlled and held it in and slowly dozed off. After sometime Helen woke me up, but she didn’t tell me anything, she just said ‘Did I wake you up? I am sorry!’ I was like what the hell is wrong with her, she woke me up from sleep and asking me, if I was sleeping. I looked at her, found her was somewhat uneasy, and then it slowly struck me, might be even she forgot, I mean, You know, to have a break before starting for the trip. Maybe I should confirm with her first, but how? I thought, when I was a kid, my parents used to tell me, If we were in public place and feel embarrassed  to say that I would like to take a leak, then I should tell them ‘I want to go to London’. If her parents also used the same technique then she might understand, what I was about to say.

I asked her ‘Did you go to London, before starting to Bangalore?”

‘I have never went outside India’ she said

I was wondering what’s the actual meaning of what she said, did she clearly didn’t understand the question, or she had some hidden message in the reply she said. I thought maybe she meant that she didn’t go? Or maybe she would never have breaks outside home?’

Arrr! I was confused her, I tried one more time ‘Do you want to go to… London now?’

‘No, why should I, I have a ledger book to submit and my parents would get home by tomorrow evening, why would I go to London?’

She looked stress and angry, plus her reply made it quite clear that she and me had different understanding about London. But I was sure she was feeling uneasy, I built up all my courage and met the driver to ask him to stop the bus in some hotels, as there are female passengers in bus as well. After some distance we found a proper place to park, and just as I assumed, she was the first person to get down from the bus, I could just smile that I knew her so well. We finally reached Bangalore by morning 4.30 am and we directly went to our branch office over there. We enquired about the Truck by providing the details, but to our surprise the Truck had already left an hour before. I had no Idea whether to continue on following the truck or get back to our city, I looked for Sugar, but she was not inside the office anymore. Where did she go?”

 …….. to be continued

Artistic Ryter